The Dustbowls of Maturity is Monty Munford's first book
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Recently published articles
Telegraph column 20 Delhi's first Grand Prix must beware two monsoons
Telegraph column 19 When will India enforce its ban on corporal punishment?
Telegraph column 18 A Taliban victory in Afghanistan would be good news for Afghan Sikhs
Telegraph column 17 To beat piracy on the high seas, the EU and India should recognise Somaliland
Telegraph column 16 India’s complacency leads to Chinese takeover of huge Ethiopian rail project
Telegraph column 15 Indian government offices finally say farewell to the typewriter
Telegraph column 14 India continues its bizarre love affair with Adolf Hitler
Telegraph column 13 It's official. India's drivers are the worst in the world
Telegraph column 12 To be a Hindu pilgrim... With a mobile phone the whole way.
Telegraph column 11 The Indian football team will never qualify for the World Cup
Telegraph column 10 Why the Dalai Lama should follow at least one brave man on Twitter
For an archive of previous Telegraph columns please click here
July 29th, 2010 - Somaliland Issue 1
When encountering the unknown it is sometimes best to possess as many mind-altering substances as possible and crossing into the unrecognised, and alcohol-free, 'country' of Somaliland seemed as good a time as any.
Unlike the Ancient Greeks who used papaver somniferum or magic mushrooms as protection in battles, I decided to chew as much qat (locally known as 'chat') to fortify myself against any checkpoint charlies or child-soldiers with guns.
After a delay at the border and a fight between a soldier and a passenger who objected to the former manhandling his wife, I finally jumped into a shared taxi for the bumpy 100-kilometre journey to Hargesia, the country's capital.
As the benign qat soothed my brain and the taxi settled into an aqua-plaining rhythm, I read about where I was going. Somaliland used to be British Somaliland and in 1960 was the first African country after independence to transfer power from the military until it decided to cleave itself to its bigger neighbour, Somalia.
Bad decision. After years of tribal tensions, a savage civil war broke out until the Somalis were finally ousted and Somaliland retreated to its pre-Independence border and in 1961 unilaterally declared its independence.
Since then no country has recognised it despite having a free press, a free-market economy and a recent fair election that saw the incumbent President hand over power to the victorious opposition.
The closest they have come is when Somaliland officials were invited to the opening of the Welsh assembly, Wales having a large Somaliland community. And while there were a few hairy moments at checkpoints most of the soldiers were so wasted on qat to be any real danger.
Hargesia was insane. There are 16,500 Somaliland Shillings to the dollar and the largest denomination note is 500 shillings. Kids run around with wheelbarrows full of banknotes while qat-addled money-changers sprawl in houses of stacked-up money. All a bit 1930s Weimar republic with the valueless German Mark.
Seeing all this money was annoying because I didn't have any of it and my only hope was a London friend wiring me some dollars through Dahabshiil, the Somaliland version of Western Union.
This seemed to be loaded with problems but I kept being told 'no problem, no problem' so I bought a Somaliland SIM card on credit after using THE FREE AND FAST WI-FI in my $10 hotel and gave my friend the details.
He then called me from a shop in London telling me it was all quite simple and asked for my Somaliland SIM and then he would call me back... Which he did ten minutes later... Five minutes AFTER I had received an SMS from Dahabshiil telling me my money was ready to be picked up.
Amazing. Now I could pay my bills and explore the country, but first I would have to 'hire a soldier' for $15 a day if I wanted to go anywhere outside the capital... TO BE CONCLUDED
Recent Journalism
Observer
The Manali-Leh road
Times of India
Golden Goa days
The FT
Travels in Kashmir
Telegraph
India and Mein Kampf
The Guardian
Indian music piracy
Sunday Times
Egyptian travels
The Guardian
Mobile games
The Guardian
Indian 3G auctions
Previous issues of Monty's Indian Outlook
Issue 2 Monty's Ethiopian Outlook - Towards the border
Issue 1 Monty's Ethiopian Outlook - Addis Ababa
Issue 79 Deal Or No Deal comes to Afghanistan TV
Issue 78 Mr Biscuit throws me into a Bollywood incinerator
Issue 77 The monsoon comes early for India's economy
Issue 76 Football problems with drunken Tibetan monks
Issue 75 The patchouli-stinking hippies of Himachal Pradesh
Issue 74 India's private schools and corporal punishment
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